Seventh Inning Stretch Chapter 10: Going Too Far

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything Twilight related. Of course, that fabulous world belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just enjoy making Bella do ridiculous things. Hello to all the new readers and thank you to all of the old, especially those who put up with me and my outrageous delays between updates. No excuse.

Seventh Inning Stretch

Chapter 10: Going Too Far




The rain was pounding steadily against my living room bay window as I perched myself on Edward’s over-sized couch with a wedding magazine in hand. I was supposed to be planning this big event, concentrating on the white dress I would wear as I walked down the aisle, committing myself completely to one man and one man only. I knew I could never focus on any of this, on my relationship or my future with my stomach in knots as my mind continuously flashed images of yesterday at Jacob’s house though my head.

What in the hell was I thinking?

Clearly I wasn’t thinking at all, haven’t been since the day he stepped into my life and changed everything I ever thought about myself and what I wanted and needed to make me happy.

I was going to meet his father...his sick father, and that was a big step--a huge step--in the wrong direction.

A loud knock at the front door brought me out of my inner reflections as I not-so-gracefully rolled off the sofa, my knees hitting the hardwood floor with a bang. Standing to my feet while rubbing the ache out of them, I was just about to go answer the door when I heard a familiar trot of high-heeled stilettos approach my direction.

“Bella?” Rosalie’s voice carried along the walls as she turned the corner and found me standing in the middle of the living room.

“Rose,” I greeted her, not at all surprised by her unexpected visit. This particular incident was a common occurrence with both of us being home by ourselves all week long. She was always visiting during the day, both of us going out on lunch dates, shopping trips, or wedding planning events.

“Oh my God,” she said, curling up her nose and placing her hands firmly on her perfectly curved hips. “What in the hell do you call that?”

“Um, what?” I asked, looking around in confusion as I tried to determine what she was referring to.

“You’re clothes!” she nearly shouted, a horrified expression on her face. “You look awful!”

“Gee, thanks,” I replied, not at all offended. Rose was always trying to help improve my dress code. For a long time, I caved in and tried to dress the part of Edward’s fiance, living in a perfect house with a perfect wardrobe. Now, I found comfort in my new found Independence and freedom.

“There is nothing wrong with these clothes. They’re just...slightly old...vintage,” I added, defending my favorite pair of jeans and tee as I looked down to inspect them while tugging at the edge of my Abercrombie shirt.

“Vintage?” Rose asked through a snorted laugh.

“That’ right,” I said, jokingly shoving past her, listening to her clank as she followed me into the kitchen.

Of course, she was dressed to the max, in an outrageously short mini dress that only someone with her confidence and stature could pull off. It didn’t matter how minute or obscure our plans were for the day, Rose was never one to leave the house without looking like she stepped out of the latest edition of Vogue. She was intimidating and unapproachable on the outside, only because of her outstanding beauty and poise. However, she was nothing of what her looks implied. Surprisingly enough, I often heard of her to be considered “one of the guys.” It was impossible to pull her away from a television if a football or hockey game was playing, and she could hold her own against Emmett whenever they’d lovingly wrestle. Her inner self was a complete contradiction from her outer aura, and that’s what I loved about her most. She never failed to surprise me, everyday with her was always a blast, and I knew if things went sour with Edward, I would never forgive myself for losing her as a best friend.

“So, what shall we do on this lovely Friday afternoon?” she asked, walking over to my watermelon-colored fruit bowl and stealing an apple. I watched her a little too closely as she took a small bite into the fruit’s skin, hearing the familiar crunch that typically accompanied such an action. I was trying not to panic, trying to steady my thoughts and focus on conjuring up an appropriate excuse to give my future sister-in-law as to why I could not spend the afternoon in her company.

“Okay,” she said pointedly, her eyebrows arching perfectly as she assessed me with a knowing glint in her eyes. “What are you hiding?”

I internally cursed myself for my consistent failure to conceal anything from her. As much as she was confident and a ball of fire, she was also equal parts intuitive. She didn’t miss much.

I opened my mouth to say something as she impatiently tapped her left foot while egging me on with a smooth, “mmmhmm?”

“Why would you even suggest I’m hiding something?” I asked, turning my back to her to busy myself with the contents on the kitchen counter. For some reason, the various knives suddenly needed rearranged inside the cutlery board.

“Um, probably because of your odd behavior for the last week or so,” she replied, sashaying over to the kitchen table. I turned back around just in time to catch her examining the tulips Jacob brought me. “I stopped by Tuesday and Wednesday, and you weren’t home.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, unable to stop myself from picturing the face of the man responsible for my absence on those particular afternoons. “I’ve just been....busy.”

“Too busy for your best friend?” she asked, but instead of waiting for my response, she gestured her head toward the flowers. “Edward stepping up his game or what?” We both knew he wasn’t much of a romantic flowers and chocolates guy. Now, a diamond necklace or genuine pearl earrings, a completely different story.

“”Uh, yeah, I guess,” I said through a nervous stint of laughter. “Although he wouldn’t have any reason to, of course,” I immediately added. “I mean, it’s not like he has any competition or anything. Yeah, definitely no one else trying to fight for my attention...so...um...”

I shut my mouth sharply, realizing my unfortunate curse of severe word vomit at the most inopportune times had yet to be outgrown.

“Mmmhmmm,” she said again, in the same velvety tone as before as she took another bite out of her Red Delicious apple. With her mouth full, she added an astute, “I see.”

“Yeah, so anyway.” My remark was abrupt, but I was trying to change the subject. “I’m sorry but once again, Ms. Busy Bella is not free to parade around town this afternoon. I have plans...plans with....er... Angela. Yeah, plans with her...and she said she needs to talk to me about something personal, or else, you know, I’d invite you to come with us.”

“Yeah, okay,” Rose quipped, her mouth turning down in a slight frown while she continuously assessed my clearly bizarre behavior. “I can take a hint when I’m not wanted around.”

“Oh c’mon,” I offered, wishing she wouldn’t take offense because little did she know, my afternoon plans had nothing to do with her and everything to do with a certain man I couldn’t get off of my mind. “You know how Ang is, you two really don’t have anything in common anyway, and you said it yourself, she’s a little too crazy...even for you.”

“Dude,” she exclaimed, her eyes flashing again as she trotted over to the trash can and pressed the open button with the tip of her peach-colored stilettos. “That girl is crazy!”

I knew I was finally out of the deep end of the water.

The familiar tune of my phone caught my attention just as I was about to excuse myself from Rosalie’s company for the day. She smiled at me as I left the kitchen, following the faint sound into the living room as it continued to grow louder and louder. I picked the Blackberry out from between the couch cushions and scanned the screen to find Jacob’s number staring back at me.

Bad, bad timing.

I looked over my shoulder to discover that Rose, sure enough, had followed me in my search. Internally gulping, I picked up the phone and with the most natural and nonchalant greeting I could offer in such circumstances, I said, “Hello?”

“Bella,” he verified, sounding slightly relieved, his voice also etched with something else entirely, something that was making my heart sink.

“Is everything okay?” I instinctively asked, suddenly unmindful to the fact that I wasn’t alone.

“It’s my dad,” he said quietly. I could hear some sort of hustle and bustle in the background, a beeping and a few voices, and I started to panic.

“What’s going on?” I asked, the frantic nature in my voice giving way to my concern.

“I’m at the hospital,” he replied, solidifying my suspicions as I took a few steps farther away from Rosalie, trying to earn myself some privacy. “He took a turn for the worse this morning, they say he’s stable now, though, so that’s good, right?”

He sounded unconvinced, scared and alone, and I knew that he needed me, he needed someone to be there for him.

“Of course that’s good,” I said, reassuringly, dropping my voice slightly, hoping that I didn’t have an audience. “Do you...I mean, I can be there in a few minutes if you want?”

“Look,” he said softly, “don’t feel like you have to, I was just calling because I needed to talk to someone. I’ve been here since seven and it can be pretty exhausting.”

“What room?” I asked.

“305.”

“I’ll be right there,” I said, hanging up the phone before he could try to change my mind.

I slowly turned, Rose looking at me expectantly as I shrugged and dismissed her, grabbing my purse and searching around the foyer for my sneakers.

“I have to go,” I informed her, speaking the obvious.

“That was Angela,” I lied, locating one sneaker as I hopped on one foot, trying to pull it on in a hurry while nearly losing my balance and toppling over.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, she’s fine,” I said, grabbing my other sneaker from beneath a pile in the closet and struggling to pull it on as well. “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay.” She wasn’t convinced, but I didn’t have the time to dwell on the consequences.

Jacob needed me.

He needed me, and in that moment, that was the only thing that mattered.

***

I was never a big fan of hospitals. In fact, if I were to make a list of my top ten least favorite things, hospitals would be close to number one. I couldn’t get passed the distinct eucalyptus-latex odor that accompanied me on such visits as this one. The constant beeping and paging over the loud speaker made me uneasy as I often tried to determine what each of the color codes meant that were being referred to. Regardless of the nature of my visit, whether it would be a happy occasion in light of the birth of a new addition to the Swan family, or a dreadful one, such as today’s visit to Jacob’s sick father, I never felt in my element. The moment I stepped through the giant revolving front doors into the grandiose lobby, my blood pressure spiked and my hair stood up on my arms in response to the chill that shot down my spine.

It was probably a normal reaction, to feel on edge and unnerved, but knowing that I wasn’t alone didn’t provide me with much comfort. However, on this particular visit, as I approached the hallway that would lead me to the elevators, Jacob turned the corner before I had the chance, and instead of the typical discomfort, my body filled with an uncharacteristic sense of relaxation and ease. His face, at first solemn and distraught, instantly lit up and changed course entirely once his eyes locked with mine.

He closed the space between us quickly, scooping me up in his arms and nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck as he breathed me in. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Me too,” I remarked, feeling my feet come in contact with the floor as I tried to gain my equilibrium again.

“I would have been here sooner,” I offered, suddenly feeling slightly timid, “you know, had I known...”

Was this alright? Was I caring too much? Too little?

“I don’t doubt you,” he said through a relaxed smile, and I wasn’t sure what to expect when I walked through the hospital doors, but I knew this wasn’t it. I knew I wasn’t prepared to feel this way about him, for Jake to be so calm and collected, so happy to see me.

Without saying another word, he laced his hand with mine as if it were the most natural thing on Earth and escorted me to the elevators, pushing the button while we both stood, waiting patiently.

“Door number three.” His interruption into our silence was unexpected.

“What?” I asked, a confused expression on my face.

“The elevator that will open first,” he explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Door number three, that’s my guess. Yours?”

“How am I supposed to know?” I replied. His confidence in the accuracy of his guess was making it hard to keep my laughter at bay.

“That’s why it’s a guess,” he said, playfully nudging my shoulder with his own. “If I guess right, you have to come over later. If you guess right...well, you have to bring me dinner.”

“Hmm, now that seems like a lose-lose situation for me,” I informed him, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“Or a win-win, depending on how you look at it,” he clarified, wrapping his arms around the base of my waist and pulling me into him. His lips were inches from mine when the chime of the third elevator echoed in the corridor, stealing our attention.

“Oh yeah,” he said in celebration of his win before kissing me lightly, taking my hand and tugging me inside with him. “I’m two for two today.”

I rolled my eyes while shaking my head, his playfulness infectious. “Lucky guess.”

“Oh yeah? Is that what you think?” he asked as the heavy doors closed, leaving us alone inside. He wasted no time taking advantage of our solitude as he backed me against the steel wall, his lips finding mine and taking my breath away.

“Jacob,” I managed to breathe against him as I wedged my hands between our connected bodies to gently push him a few centimeters away. “This is hardly the place to get carried away.”

“Who said anything about getting carried away?” he countered, his hands finding their way around to my back, slowly sliding down...down...down until he worked them into the waist of my jeans, the heat of his touch connecting with my bare flesh.

I giggled and squirmed against him, trying to pull out of his embrace, but it was no use, I could never escape him, and I didn’t really want to.

Once again, the elevator doors chimed as they opened up to the third floor, interrupting our private bubble to reveal an impatient Leah.

“Oh for the love of God.” She raised her eyebrows and assessed our current positioning as I finally freed myself from Jacob’s embrace and awkwardly smoothed my shirt.

“Sister dearest,” Jake greeted her, not at all phased by the amorous encounter we were just caught in. We stepped off the elevator and traded places with her as he asked, “How’s dad?”

“Clearly not as content as his only son,” she replied, her amusement evident in the nature of her grin.

I felt hot and flushed, my cheeks burning and tingling as I tried not to be seen. God, how classless to make out in the elevator inside the hospital that currently boarded the sick father of your mate.

“Did he eat his lunch?” Jake asked, his smile slowly dissolving as his concern for his father’s health took over.

“Every last bite” she said, as the doors slowly started to close and separate us. “Oh, and he can’t wait to meet you, Bella,” she managed to get in before she was shut off from us completely.

“Is she always so...?” I started to ask, turning toward Jake while waving my hands through the air as I tried to come up with the right adjective to describe his sister.

“Bitchy?” he asked through a smirk, placing his hand on my lower back to direct me toward his father’s room. “Yes.”

“I wasn’t going to say that...not exactly.” I frowned slightly, my body unconsciously leaning into him, always trying to get closer. I didn’t think Leah was a bitch. Not necessarily. In my eyes, she was just a tough girl that cared about her family enough to look out for her little brother. If I were in her, I’d probably react the same way.

“It’s okay,” he offered, sliding his hand down, sneaking it inside the back pocket of my jeans. “Now this,” he added, gently squeezing, “I like.”

His affection was totally unexpected, causing me to squirm and shuffle against him, the ineffectiveness of my escape only humoring him further.

I was so caught up in him, so caught up in the way his touch made me feel, that I completely failed to realize we were very much in public. Just as we were about to turn the corner to enter into Billy’s room, I caught the eye of a couple of nurses by the care station, gawking at us incredulously and whispering in each other’s ears. Somehow I doubted I was very successful at keeping our relationship inconspicuous.

Before I had time to truly process what was happening or prepare myself for what I would say when meeting Billy Black, we were walking inside the small room, the walls a boring shade of beige and the TV the only background noise next to Billy’s chatter with one of his nurses. I watched him closely, the large man sitting on the only occupied twin bed with his features clearly fatigued, providing me with no question as to where Leah got her genetics. Jake, on the other hand, must resemble his mother. Physically, so to speak, because a second after the thought entered my mind, Billy was cracking the young nurse a big smile, clearly flirting with her while enjoying her company. Jake may not outwardly reflect his father’s features next to the dark skin and shiny black hair, but I could blatantly understand where he got his jovial disposition.

Upon noticing our entrance, the nurse promptly excused herself, turning Billy’s attention to us with no other distractions. I could feel my heart beating furiously against my rib cage as I tried to calm myself down and prayed that my hands wouldn’t be too grotesquely sweaty if he happened to shake one of them.

Jake wasted no time, taking my hand and guiding my over to his bedside, introducing me simply as ‘Bella’ with no other title attached.

I wasn’t sure what I expected from this man, the father of the guy that I was...seeing. I didn’t know what he would do or say in response to my presence at his hospital bed. However, what I did know was I that I wasn’t expecting him to react the way that he did. He accepted me almost immediately, opening up to me with a genuine smile on his face. He took my hand in his, sweat and all, and enveloped me in his warmth. Instantly, I felt at ease, felt like this is where I belonged.

“Bella,” he spoke my name a second time, this time his eyes shining as he gently released me from his grasp. “It’s such a pleasure to finally meet someone that my son has taken interest in.”

I was a little embarrassed by our exchange, feeling my face heat with Jake’s presence close behind me. This wasn’t normal waters for us to be treading in, and I wasn’t quite sure how I was supposed to act.

“I’m sure I’m not the first girl you’ve met,” I replied, trying to cover up my discontent.

Jake, stepping up before his father had a chance to respond, wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder before saying, “But you are.”

My face only flushed more in response to his words, and Billy chuckled while shaking his head from side to side. “I never though this day would come,” he said through his laughter. “I was beginning to think Jacob might be gay.”

No, definitely not gay.

“Dad,” Jake said abruptly, releasing me and purposely running a hand through his silky hair.

That’s when I realized he was nervous. He seemed just ever-so-slightly out of his element, and I may have found it endearing if I wasn’t so taken aback by what this knowledge meant for me. Was I truly the first girl he ever brought to meet his family?

The thought alone made my heart leap. My stomach felt weightless.

We spoke with Billy for quite some time, getting the basics out of the way. He asked me several questions about my family, my life, and what I did to earn a living. I was proud to declare that I was planning on going back to art school, feeling satisfied that I finally had something I could call my own, something that didn’t rely on someone else’s paychecks or false hopes and dreams. After I described my plans to Billy, I caught Jacob watching me out of the corner of my eye, his eyes intense and questioning my actions. It occurred to me that I forgot to mention art school to him. I knew we’d be having that discussion later.

A little after two o’clock, Leah poked her head into the room and claimed that she was heading to the cafeteria to grab some food. Feeling a little claustrophobic in the tiny space, I offered to accompany her and help bring back snacks for Billy and Jacob.

Leah and I walked side by side in silence to the cafeteria, the elevator ride awkward and longer than what seemed possible. As soon as we entered into the wide open area, the scent of hamburger and fried food filling the air, she broke the silence by asking me what I wanted. After informing her that I didn’t really care, she simply shrugged her shoulders and guided me over toward a long line of doctors, nurses, and other hospital employees with suits and ties that seemed to be waiting for the salad bar.

The silence was starting to eat away at me, and I couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking about, if she was thinking about me, what she ever thought about me. Did she hate me? I wouldn’t blame her if she did. I’d hate me if I were in her shoes.

“So...” I said to the back of her head, clearing my throat to break the tension. “Billy looks good, I think he’s feeling a lot better.”

“Yep,” she said, not bothering to turn around and face me. She shuffled on her feet and crossed her arms in front of her chest in frustration.

“Is this line ever going to move?” she asked to no one in particular.

“I...I’m not sure,” I replied, even though I knew her question was very much rhetorical.

I heard her sigh loudly as she continued to ignore me.

A few seconds later, realizing she wasn’t about to initiate any kind of conversation, I piped up again. “Hospitals were never my thing. I just can’t stand the way they smell, you know? They kind of creep me out to be completely honest,” I said, forcing a fake laugh to try to lighten the atmosphere around us. “Like, did you ever see that movie where the girl is stuck in a hospital and--”

“Look,” she suddenly blurted, whipping around to finally face me. Her eyes were dark and intense, her expression fierce. “To be completely honest, I don’t like you. Not at all. I don’t like the fact that you’re here, in my father’s good graces, in my brother’s life, when you very clearly have a whole other life of your own.

“I don’t like the way my brother looks at you. I mean, do you even notice? Do you even see it at all? Because, I do. I can’t miss it, and I can’t ignore it. I’m not sure what you’re intentions are with him, but I think that his intentions for you are VERY clear.”

She stood tall and confident, tapping her foot and waiting for my response as I tried to wrap my mind around everything that she just accused me of. Of course, she was right. I did have a whole other life of my own, but what she didn’t understand was that I so desperately wanted to fit in with this one. I so desperately wanted to answer her questions, to let her know my intentions, but I couldn’t even figure them out for myself.

“I...I’m sorry,” I eventually replied, my voice weak and my face flushed. “I really want to be truthful with you.”

“You have every right to hate me,” I continued, when she didn’t show any signs of responding. “I would hate me if I were you. And...I just, I wish I could give you a clear answer. I wish I could tell you what I hope to get out of this whole situation, but the truth is that I’m just as confused as you are.”

The line slowly began to move. We followed, but Leah never broke eye contact with me. I realized that my explanation wasn’t good enough and she was waiting for me to elaborate.

I sighed and nervously picked at my fingernails before continuing. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I realize what you must think of me, what you must think of someone capable of juggling two different relationships for reasons that must be selfish. I just...I wish I could convince you, convince everyone, that this isn’t me. I’m not that girl...I’m not the kind of person to destroy lives.”

“Yeah?” she asked with a sarcastic edge, clearly not buying into what I was offering. I wasn’t surprised. I had no idea how to explain how all of this happened. How did I end up here?

“I woke up one morning and my whole life was changed,” I managed to say, my voice dropping, my head dipping in my shame. “I thought I could put it behind me, could forget it happened and move on with Edward--”

“Edward?” she interrupted. “So, that’s his name.”

I realized my mistake all too late, wanting to kick myself in the shin for letting his name slip. “Yeah, that’s him,” I admitted through a soft sigh. I ran various scenarios through my head of Leah tracking him down, telling him how I betrayed him, how I wasn’t the women he thought he was marrying. Even though I didn’t know her all that well, I somehow knew she wouldn’t be the type of girl to step in and ruin everything for me.

“And, you’re planning on marrying this man?” Leah asked, her voice softer, sounding genuinely curious.

“I don’t know what I’m planning anymore,” I confessed. “I’m so confused about everything, about my feelings and what I’m supposed to do. How can I work this out without hurting someone? I have no idea how I can put a stop to all of this, or if I even want to.”

It did occur to me how ludicrous it was that I was pouring my heart and secrets out to Jacob’s only sister, but I was so desperate to let someone else know everything that I was thinking and feeling, so desperate to take part of my guilt and the weight I carried on my shoulders and pass it along. I needed someone else to tell me what to do. I needed another person to keep me from going crazy.

“Well, you obviously can’t keep this up forever,” Leah eventually replied, as the line moved forward enough for her to grab a plate and start piling Italian lettuce on it.

“I know that,” I said quietly, grabbing a plate of my own along with an extra for Jacob. “Of course I know that.”

We were both silent, lost in thoughts all our own as we both filled our plates, grabbing extra pasta salad and bags of chips for the guys. A few minutes later we were all paid up and once again walking side-by-side back to the room, trays in hand.

“Jacob really seems to be okay with this,” Leah said to me the moment the elevator doors closed around us.

“Uh, yeah,” I said, feeling a little uncomfortable with where the conversation seemed to be heading. “I guess he is?”

“I just don’t understand how,” she said, slightly shaking her head in disbelief.

“I don’t know how he feels,” I replied, and I guess I was hoping that because she was his sister, because she seemed so close to him, she might know more about what he thinks and feels than I do. Maybe it would be possible for her to fill me in, to give me a little insight.

“He’s always so guarded,” I added.

I watched her closely for a moment as a fraction of silence extended between us. I waited patiently, hoping she’d latch onto the bait I left hanging. Finally, she glanced in my direction, and she must have noticed the curious expression on my face, because she instantly shook her head enthusiastically while saying, “Oh no, no you don’t. I’m not saying a word. You have to ask him about his feelings yourself.”

At that opportune moment, the elevator doors swung open, and we both stepped out and started walking in the direction of Billy’s room. I thought our conversation was over, locked behind the steel walls of the elevator, but just before we reached the turn for Room 305, Leah stopped walking and turned to face me once again. She looked a little anxious or maybe she just felt rushed, but her eyes darted all over my face as if she were trying to memorize the way I look ed and map it away for a later date. She made me feel self-conscious and out of place, awkward and scrutinized.

“Bella,” she said, looking more and more uncomfortable. “I just want you to know that while I don’t like what you’re doing, and that I don’t agree with it at all, I’m happy that he found someone to make him smile. If he’s okay with pretending for a little while, then I guess I can do that, too.”

Before I had a chance to respond, she was already two steps ahead of me and walking through the hospital room door. Yet again, Leah Black left me speechless.

A few minutes later, the three of us were sitting around Billy’s bedside with small lap trays, eating our snacks while Billy told me stories from Jacob and Leah’s childhood. He talked about Jake’s mom, which I discovered her name was Sarah and she hated the color purple. She would never wear it, would never dress her children in it, and refused to buy anything for the house remotely close to it. I listened intently to Billy’s recollections as I sat back and let myself truly relax, getting caught up in the experience with Jacob and his family, and almost...for one fragment in time...forgetting that I was a whole other girl with a whole other life, belonging to someone else back at home.

Before Jake and I left a little after 4, Billy invited me to come down to his home for one of his famous fish fries. He was so enthusiastic and sincere, it was hard for me to say no even though everything in my mind was screaming at me to run away from this, screaming at me that I was going too far and I was diving in too deep. I agreed, and Jake only pulled me closer, smiling down at me and kissing me softly on the head, his eyes alight with...something.

***

Jacob Black was never one to let up on a bet, even if the stipulations weren’t entirely fair to begin with. I found myself at his place that Friday evening, cooking him dinner in his kitchen, on his old, creaky stove, with my lie to Edward tucked safely away in the history of my cell phone’s outgoing calls.

Poor Angela had no idea how busy she was with me these last few weeks.

We didn’t make it all the way through our dinner of spaghetti and meat sauce, only finishing half of our meal before Jake was scooping me up from my seat at the table and carrying me to his bedroom.

Afterward, I was lying in his arms, my head resting delicately on his chest as I listened to the steady sound of his beating heart. We were both quiet, but it was a comfortable silence, and I was so caught up in him and the sudden warmth that filled my heavy heart as I tried to make sense of what was happening between us. I wanted to be with him, and not just for a little while. I wanted to learn everything about him and make him laugh and make him smile, make him look at me and see a girl that he knew wouldn’t break his heart. I wanted so many things that I knew were foolish to consider, so many things that were impossible to hope for, to dream of.

“Thank you,” Jake said softly, his breath ruffling the hair on the top of my head as I felt the warmth of him as he left me a tiny kiss there. “I really appreciate what you did for me today. It meant a lot to me.”

Without saying a word, I turned myself in his arms, pushing myself up on his chest so that I could look him in the eyes. He smiled down at me gently, his left hand reaching up and tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes and bit my tongue, stopping myself from telling him how he was making me feel, confessing to him that I wanted more from this than what was reasonable.

“You have to go, don’t you?” he suddenly asked, his voice solemn.

He seemed genuinely upset, and his question took me off guard, but I knew that he was right. I knew that I did have to go, that Edward was home waiting, and that even thought I wanted to stay here with him for the rest of the night...I couldn’t.

I was just about to open my mouth to answer him when Rosalie’s familiar ring tone interrupted. Quickly, I managed to pull myself together and roll out of his embrace, grabbing his flannel button down shirt off the floor. I wrapped it around me and hurried to my purse, reaching around my wallet and sunglasses for my phone.

“Rosalie,” Jacob said, a knowing glint in his eyes, because he was with me enough to recognize the sound of her personal tune.

“Rose,” I said into the receiver, looking pointedly at Jacob before turning my back to him. It was easier to lie, easier to ignore the guilt when I wasn’t looking directly into the eyes of the man responsible for my deceptions.

“Isabella Swan, I hope you’re having a great time, but you will absolutely, positively never guess who I just ran into.” She sounded chipper and enthusiastic, and something about the edge to her tone and the way she dragged out and emphasized the word “great” made me feel uneasy.

“Oh yeah?” I asked, biting my bottom lip while trying to conjure up all of the possible prospects accountable for her excitement. “Who?”

“Angela,” she said simply, bluntly, and I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach as if someone had just kicked me directly in the gut.

I knew that I needed to speak, to respond, to try to come up some explanation to justify why I wasn’t with her, but my voice was caught in the base of my throat, my words lost in a pit of shock and horror.

I was caught.

My lie was exposed.

Slowly, I turned around to face Jacob again, my hand frozen around my phone as I somehow managed to hold it steadily against my ear. I could her my heart beating loudly inside of my head, echoing in my ears as I tried to communicate with him silently across the small space between us.

Rose knows. She knows. It’s over.



A/N: I passed my boards! Life is great! Thanks for reading and if you feel so inclined, don’t forget to let me know what you think.

Naturally, I must thank my ficlovah, betawife, Christina aka my hubby is no edward, for her fabulous support and ever-so-adorable voice. Her fic What’s Lust Got to do with it? is one of my favs and is currently coming to an incredible end. If you aren’t reading it, well...you should be.

Wave Two of The Underdog Awards voting is now going on. Head over the to The Air, The Sun livejournal community to vote for your fav J/B fics. I think FFY was nominated. :-) Just an FYI, the FFY epilogue is next on my to-do list. We shall see how that goes. Until next time, my sweets. *muah*